tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88706034148648828472024-03-13T17:33:44.893-04:00Finding Joy in the Midst of Chronic PainFinding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8870603414864882847.post-19620067547900021042015-03-24T09:44:00.000-04:002015-03-24T09:44:45.928-04:00Spring Forward? Yeah, I Don't Think So...<span style="font-size: large;">You know that phrase, "Spring forward"? Well, nothing about me "springs" anymore!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I don't "do" change well. My body doesn't respond well to temperature or any weather related changes, time changes, sleep changes, dietary changes, and ... well, you get the idea!</span><br />
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Oh boy, did the time change kick my franny! The weather got warmer, and even though it was for the better, it triggered a nasty headache that just kept escalating all week. After 5 days of increased water, tons of stretching and plenty of Tylenol, it kept getting worse. Ugh, why do I wait so long to break into my muscle relaxers and heavy pain meds?!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Welp, let's see... I can't think straight on the pain killers and I can't stay awake with the muscle relaxers. Put them together, and it is a recipe that can only bring sleep and LOTS of it. Do the meds help? Sure, most of the time the combination is helpful. Besides the side effects, the other big problem is that I have to unplug from life for a while. This means not being there for my family. In turn, it means that my husband won't have his assistant (OR his wife!), my daughters won't have their mom, and the house goes into anarchy. People are eating ice cream for dinner, dishes pile up, and even the dog gets into the trash and gets snarly. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I don't like not being in control of my body. Which is a paradox in and of itself considering that no one <i>really</i> has control and anyone who suffers with chronic pain and illness has <b><u>even less</u></b> control of their body. But, in terms of being <b>completely</b> out of control and down for the count with medicine, it has to be REALLY bad before I break into the heavy meds. </span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-liQoFCZBDhM/VQ7oFWgHY4I/AAAAAAAAAuk/5566wHm3eXY/s1600/Spring%2Bfwd%2Bblog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-liQoFCZBDhM/VQ7oFWgHY4I/AAAAAAAAAuk/5566wHm3eXY/s1600/Spring%2Bfwd%2Bblog.jpg" height="320" width="241" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">In the past, I was even more stubborn. I waited longer to medicate, to stop and lie down, or to ask for help. It became a pattern that lead to a cycle that started with my body shutting down and then invaded my thinking. It was like poison ivy that started out green and leafy but then created an unscratchable and uncontrollable itch that spread. I could easily go from being in pain to suddenly blaming myself for doing whatever activity lead to the flare and then on from there. Even now, I have to be careful with my thoughts. Before I know it, I could feel terrible about myself. I do still have those moments of guilt about my flares but I have learned to recognize the negative voices in my head that start to blame me for them and stop before it gets too far. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I have also learned how important it is to really pay attention to my body. I got to know my triggers. I watch the weather and try to plan my activities or errands around any severe changes. If I start to lose energy, I try to take a break and lie down as soon as I can. I have gotten better at asking for help. Eh, I know that I do still have some work to do on that one <i>for sure!</i> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Most of all, I have learned to be gentle with myself. </span><span style="font-size: large;">It is an ongoing process. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">But, this I know:</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I didn't cause my ongoing, every minute of the day pain and my condition is <b>not</b> my fault. A diet, medicine/vitamins, or exercise will not cure my illnesses. Surgery has not even cured me. Blaming myself only makes things worse. I <b>am</b> responsible for trying to take the best care of myself that I can. That includes going to bed and staying there if I have to!</span><br />
<br />Finding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8870603414864882847.post-49776498980897731722014-12-03T08:23:00.000-05:002014-12-03T08:32:28.173-05:00Every Day You're Alive is a Special Occasion<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fYRHUjDvIIM/VH8FiSbwhYI/AAAAAAAAAoY/5nXyoTStgjQ/s1600/don't.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fYRHUjDvIIM/VH8FiSbwhYI/AAAAAAAAAoY/5nXyoTStgjQ/s1600/don't.jpg" height="298" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #666666;">Graphic found on</span> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HappyAZco" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Happy AZ</span></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">Some days, it may not feel like a special occasion. It is a struggle. But, when I saw this graphic on </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/HappyAZco" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Happy AZ</span></a>'s </span><span style="color: #666666;">Facebook page it reminded me instantly of my beloved Grandma. She used to remind me of this often. She would urge me to use all of the beautiful dishes and serving pieces that she had given to me and stop worrying about breaking them or waiting for just the right occasion. She reminded me that the reason that they were so special to me was that they reminded me of her and could just as easily be broken in the cabinet, dusty and unused. On this first Thanksgiving without her, I lovingly set the table with many of her beautiful things and it was a such a blessing to look around and see a part of her with us.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">Sometimes, I "lose time" when I am hurting and the days slip by too quickly. My good intentions of doing things fall away and all I can do is rest and try to let it go. I don't have the luxury of knowing when I will have good days to keep waiting for tomorrow or the weekend, next week, next month, next Spring, etc. I am really grateful to have had this awakening to enable a change in perspective and look at my life differently. Instead of hoping and wishing, waiting and being disappointed in myself, I am dreaming and creating, trying to be much more intentional about where my time goes and even saying no when I need to. What a blessing to begin to live out my life as a special occasion, even if it is Pajama Day or Day 4 of Leftovers!</span></span>Finding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8870603414864882847.post-70485779685320936522014-11-26T10:10:00.000-05:002016-07-08T20:17:36.198-04:00Seeking Light in the Dark ~ Part Two by Brandi Clevinger<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://iwillfindjoy.blogspot.com/2014/11/seeking-light-in-dark-part-one-by.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">Continued from Day One</span></a></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">The first thing I did to change my situation was to accept my pain and my body as it is. Obviously, the pain wasn’t going to change other than fluctuate between tolerable and worse so I had to change how it affected me. Acceptance was my first step. Love me for who I am – the perfections and the imperfections. This took me about five minutes. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">I said aloud to myself, “This is the body you were given. It can be a blessing or a curse. It’s up to me. {After several minutes} I choose blessing.” And, oddly, I smiled. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">The next step took a bit longer and was much more challenging. As stated earlier during my ER trip, I had to change my way of thinking when the pain became less tolerable or I couldn’t do the activities I wanted to do. When those times came, my thinking process switched to a more positive way of thinking. Some of the things I thought about included:</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>What are God’s plans for me?</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>If I thought of myself as weak and in pain, that was how I was going to feel.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>How did He want me to raise my children?</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Did it scare my children to see me this way?</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>What did He want me to learn and reflect on during these </span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">moments </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> of weakness?</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Was He strengthening me for future events?</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>He would not abandon me during this moment, so I had to be more trusting of Him.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">As time went on, it became more often than not that I would be smiling when the pain passed. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">During one instance when the burning in my upper leg seemed to be too much to bear and I had been in excruciating pain for hours, I had fallen on the stairs on the way to my room. I was screaming in pain, tears soaking my. I cried out in my head and my heart, “LORD, PLEASE HELP ME! I SURRENDER MY PAIN TO YOU! I DO NOT ASK FOR YOU TO TAKE THE PAIN, BUT PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOU WANT ME TO USE IT FOR YOUR GLORY!” In that moment, in that very instant, my thinking switched to God’s love for me and how through His love for me that I would pull through the pain. I knew that this pain was but a small blip in His larger plans for me. That one day I would be thankful to have experienced this pain so as to grow from it in some way. It was not clear to me at that moment, but I knew His plans would be revealed in time, when it was right. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">A surge of warmth passed over me and it felt so loving. It wrapped my heart, body, and spirit lifting me from the depths of despair and brokenness carrying me into the rays of strength and encouragement.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">I started smiling through grit teeth while the tears streamed down my face. This is what the warmth of strength felt like. Oh my, it felt wonderful!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">Then the pain was gone. Just as fast as it overcame me and left me crippled on the floor, it was gone. It was a small miracle that only I experienced and will always cherish.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">My mental approach to my pain could not be my only tool against Fibromyalgia. My other tools were building a support system and treating the pain through natural treatments.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">Building a support system was also difficult for me. This meant talking to my family and friends about the extent of my pain and condition. Not an easy task. It meant admitting my limits and saying I’m not okay as I had seemed to be. It was saying that I, too, become weak at times and often times need support. It was swallowing my pride and tearing down the wall of perfection I had meticulously built around me. It meant showing others the real me – the flaws, the weaknesses, the limitations, yes, but the strength, too. How freeing!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">Thankfully, God has blessed me with amazing family and friends. From my husband to mom to sister, each person makes me feel loved and supported. I do not feel ashamed to say, “I cannot do that today” or “I am not feeling well right now”. It is amazing and I could not ask for more from any of them.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">The natural treatments have helped tremendously with the physical pain. My daily natural regiment includes:</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Avoiding sweets, dairy, high starches, tomatoes, beans, and greasy foods. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Avoiding caffeine other than my four ounces of coffee each morning.</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Two ounces of tart cherry juice twice a day to help with the pain. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>I regularly eat pineapple and also make my smoothies with pineapple juice instead of yogurt </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> or milk to help with inflammation. </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>400 mg of magnesium each morning</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>1000 mg of Vitamin C each evening</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Two gummy multi-vitamins each day with my kids (helps with the sweet cravings)</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Full 8 ounces of water throughout each day</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Going to bed around the same time each night and waking around the same time </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> each morning (no matter the pain levels)</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Not allowing any electronics, arguments, or negative energy in my </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> bedroom ~ </span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">(under any circumstance)</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Daily devotionals with a concentration on Jesus’ words</span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> •<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Breathing exercises</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">Here it is a year later and I have yet to revisit those feelings of the past. The sun shines most days with a cloud here and there, but those pits and walls stay at bay. On the days that the sun is not shining, I just remind myself that the sun is constant though I may not always be able to see it. I have to push those clouds to the side with thoughts of positivity, encouragement, and the warmth of the light that I know is there.</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rM0bypfSu94/VHXuxzNBXGI/AAAAAAAAAmc/bbWuKubyno4/s1600/Brandi2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rM0bypfSu94/VHXuxzNBXGI/AAAAAAAAAmc/bbWuKubyno4/s1600/Brandi2.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">About Brandi Clevinger: </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">"I’m Brandi, follower of Christ, wife to an amazing, supportive husband, blessed mother to four sweet children, an</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">d </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">fellow spoonie</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">After many years of struggling with body aches, joint stiffness, severe back spasms, seasonal depression, sensory sensitivities and other various ailments, I was diagnosed wit</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">h</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;"> F</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">ibromyalgia and chronic pain</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">. In </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">Winter 2012, I started on my way to becoming well again and regaining a ‘normal’ life. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">Through my journey, I have learned that living with Fibromyalgia and chronic pain does not have to be merely surviving life, but thriving it! </span><span style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-image-outset: initial; border-image-repeat: initial; border-image-slice: initial; border-image-source: initial; border-image-width: initial; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: #666666;">Being the Imperfect Mom</span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #741b47; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">not only gives you the resources needed to understand Fibromyalgia and chronic pain, but also how to cope with those crazy kid days, unexpected flare ups, and unpredictable emotional days." </span><br />
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Finding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8870603414864882847.post-88773914242004818402014-11-24T10:55:00.000-05:002016-07-08T20:16:08.312-04:00Seeking Light in the Dark ~ Part One by Brandi Clevinger<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">As I type these words, my children are playing in the background, my husband is writing a paper, and I could not feel happier than I do right now. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">It’s Saturday, so my husband and I slept until our two youngest children came pouncing across our bed to bless us with their sounds of laughter and beautiful smiling faces. The tickle monster (my husband) made an appearance and ‘attacked’ them producing louder squeals of joy and laughter.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">After they left our room venturing downstairs to watch cartoons, my husband and I had a few minutes of intimacy before joining our children. Once in the kitchen, I made a wholesome Southern breakfast of made-from-scratch biscuits and gravy, scrambled eggs, and homemade oatmeal. We gathered in the living room and ate while enjoying a classic show of Spongebob Squarepants (Plankton was trying to steal that darn krabby patty again!). When our plates were just short of licked clean and no room in our bellies, the children darted outside to play, my husband started his school work, and I decided to work on this article.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">It paints a picture perfect family. It’s not. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">It’s as though I live a ‘normal’ life free of pain, depression, and anxiety. I don’t. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">It appears the sun is always shining, clouds are never over my head, and the walls never close in on me. Not true.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">To be honest, less than twelve hours ago I was in a ball on the living room couch crying from the pain in my back, knees, legs, and feet. Depression and anxiety were creeping in on me like a predator stalking its prey. At any moment I could be devoured by it, consumed by the darkness. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">So how did I go from that broken ball of helplessness to June Cleaver in twelve hours? </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">I have Fibromyalgia and live with chronic pain. I am in constant pain each and every day. There is never a period of time that there isn't something hurting – back, leg, stomach, knee, head, the list goes on. I have experienced the darkest of days and the endless days of hopelessness. There were times I thought I would be consumed by the very walls that surrounded me. It was as though as I was at the bottom of a pit enclosed by darkness and nothingness with no route of escape. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">During those moments I wanted to be anywhere but right there in that state. The sun is where I longed to be. To bask in the warm rays of sun that only happy people seemed to experience – that is what I yearned for. I wanted to push back the suffocating walls with strength and confidence. I wanted to crawl out of the pit of despair on the staircase of hope and lie in the green grass soaking up the warmth, the light, and the vastness.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;">Yep, that is where I wanted to be. And I was determined to get there. I didn't know how. I didn't know with what strength. All I knew is that the sun would shine on me again and hug me with the warmth that I have been deprived of for so long.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;"><span style="color: #666666;">After a </span><span style="color: #666666;">trip to the emergency room</span><span style="color: #666666;"> earlier in the year, I reached my breaking point with negativit<span id="goog_1819365121"></span><span id="goog_1819365122"></span><a href="https://www.blogger.com/"></a>y associated with my pain. I was going to enjoy the sunshine and I was ready to take those steps on a new path filled with light and positivity. I was no longer going to just be smiling through the pain. I was going to truly feel the happiness, too!</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 24.375px;"><span style="color: #666666;">* Continued in </span><span style="color: #c27ba0;"><a href="http://iwillfindjoy.blogspot.com/2014/11/seeking-light-in-dark-part-two-by.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">Part Two</span></a> </span></span></span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sXhoyVRNH_w/VHIJKJ-y6CI/AAAAAAAAAmQ/u6430ZFi-ow/s1600/Brandi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sXhoyVRNH_w/VHIJKJ-y6CI/AAAAAAAAAmQ/u6430ZFi-ow/s1600/Brandi.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24.375px;">About Brandi Clevinger:</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">"I’m Brandi, follower of Christ, wife to an amazing, supportive husband, blessed mother to four sweet children, an</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">d </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">fellow spoonie</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">After many years of struggling with body aches, joint stiffness, severe back spasms, seasonal depression, sensory sensitivities and other various ailments, I was diagnosed wit</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">h</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;"> F</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">ibromyalgia and chronic pain</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">. In </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">Winter 2012, I started on my way to becoming well again and regaining a ‘normal’ life. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">Through my journey, I have learned that living with Fibromyalgia and chronic pain does not have to be merely surviving life, but thriving it! </span><span style="background-color: white; border: 0px; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border-image-outset: initial; border-image-repeat: initial; border-image-slice: initial; border-image-source: initial; border-image-width: initial; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="color: #666666;">Being the Imperfect Mom</span></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #741b47; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: inherit; line-height: 24.375px;">not only gives you the resources needed to understand Fibromyalgia and chronic pain, but also how to cope with those crazy kid days, unexpected flare ups, and unpredictable emotional days." </span><br />
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Finding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8870603414864882847.post-18122330164231514912014-11-03T10:26:00.000-05:002014-12-01T13:34:48.658-05:0030 Days of Thankfulness - Finding My Joy Before & During This Thanksgiving Holiday <span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><b>Final Thoughts</b></span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WopELvMvfyw/VFehtodIAEI/AAAAAAAAAgc/88HgkZfZXoY/s1600/Finding%2BJoy%2BCover%2BPhoto.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WopELvMvfyw/VFehtodIAEI/AAAAAAAAAgc/88HgkZfZXoY/s1600/Finding%2BJoy%2BCover%2BPhoto.png" height="118" width="320" /></a><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">This was an awesome thing for me to do and I am so very glad that I did it! Every day wasn't great. I struggled through a few, but, </span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">maintained my joy. This truly was a great way for me to realize just how important it was to be in the moment. I am even more aware of just how many things that I should be grateful for each day and how much joy can be found in silly conversations while doing very ordinary things.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>November 29 - 30, 2014 ~ Last days in Review</b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">I am thankful for the knowledge that it is okay to just take some time off once in a while when you can, not only when you have to. I decided to take a break from my </span><span style="color: #c27ba0;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/iwillfindjoy" target="_blank"><span style="color: #c27ba0;">Facebook Page</span></a> </span><span style="color: #666666;">to refuel and refresh. I decided to enjoy being fully present in the moment of being thankful. My weekend was full of more moments of my family offering me more help and finding more ways to interact together. We had a special event on Sunday that allowed us to spend quality time with friends we haven't seen in long time and catch up. The weekend ended with a mini pedi/facial, brownies, and the mid-season finale of my family's favorite show, The Walking Dead. This was one of the best Thanksgiving holidays that I can remember. I thoroughly enjoyed myself!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b style="color: #666666;">November 28, 2014</b><span style="color: #666666;"><b> ~ Day 28</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">I am thankful that the kitchen was <i>completely</i> cleaned for the first time EVER right after the meal! It was awesome to wake up early and come out for coffee and not have to fight with dishes or stuff on the counter. </span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">My oldest and I ventured out for her first day of Black Friday shopping ever. We got a few awesome deals and really enjoyed spending time together. We got to see a longtime family friend that has been away with the military. I am also so thankful </span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">for leftovers, relaxing at home, and that my little family has been enjoying so much time together over this past week.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>November 27, 2014</b> ~ <b>Day 27 </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Thanksgiving dinner was amazing and delicious! We did not eat precisely at the time I had hoped, but not too far off. Having our friends to share the meal was so nice. Our day was filled with tons of yummy food, fun, football, and a lot of laughs. My kids even helped clean up. I am so thankful that I had the energy and ability to put into all of the details. It was so much fun and the memories are worth all of the work and effort ~ especially, since I had as much help as I did!</span><br />
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<b style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">November 26, 2014 ~ Day 26</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Wow, the snow is really coming down! I am thankful that I have the items I need to finish cooking. The girls and I have haircut appointments later this afternoon. </span></span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">Nothing like waiting until the last minute! </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I had completely forgotten to schedule them so I was lucky to get this appointment. Yeah, with bangs in my eyes and the long </span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">straggly strands, I really wanted to keep this appointment. Hubby was a prince and drove us after we were able to get in a smidgen</span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> earlier. I had a wonderful time with my girls (all of us gorgeous now!) cooking and preparing food while they traded back and forth playing video games with Dad. It was fun to hear all of their commotion coming from downstairs and music and laughter in the kitchen. It was a great day and I even got to bed earlier than I expected with all the help from busy hands. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>November 25, 2014 ~ Day 25</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am thankful for a light day and the energy to do many things. After coming home and jumping into some prep work and cooking, I realized I was almost out of flour..? HUH? How am I almost out of flour?! I <b>always</b> have flour. Oh yeah, I have been making strombolis and pizzas! So, I went through my recipes and ingredient lists to see there were a few other items I needed but brain fog helped me forget. Then, back out to store I went blehhh! Thankfully, my hubby came with me and we were home in no time. This time, I have everything I need before the snow tomorrow. Yay!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>November 24, 2014 ~ Day 24</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am thankful for the Thanksgiving school break so I did not have to wake up at 5:00 am! It was nice to have my youngest home. She makes me laugh so much. I really enjoyed having a late lunch with her and my hubby and also not having to cook!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>November 23, 2014 ~ Day 23</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am thankful for a renewed energy that I haven't had in a while. I am so happy to have friends that feel like family over for our Sunday Fun-day. I am so grateful that I feel comfortable enough with them that it isn't stressful if everything isn't put away or we have a low key meal like beef BBQ sandwiches and quick salads. The treasure is in the time together.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>November 22, 2014 ~ Day 22</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am thankful for a new day. Showered, dressed, and out the door to meet my mother and sisters for a new Thanksgiving tradition of breakfast before the holiday. With our growing families, different schedules, and general holiday chaos, we haven't spent the holidays all together in quite a while. Understanding and letting go of the idea that we had to get together ON the holiday or not at all, gave us the opportunity to reconnect and enjoy lots of time to catch up together without the hustle and bustle. After a lovely morning/afternoon, I enjoyed a nap, and then a lovely meal with the hubby and youngest. I do treasure moments with family! Lots to be thankful for, especially as I am starting to feeling better.</span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">November 21, 2014 ~ Day 21</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am thankful for a low key day to get some extra rest and do a few things around the house. That is the start to feeling better. </span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">November 20, 2014 ~ Day 20</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Today, I barely have the strength to get out of bed. After a busy week, not sleeping well at night, and no time for naps in the afternoon, I am completely exhausted. That might sound relate-able </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">to someone who doesn't have chronic pain and the <b>complete</b> fatigue that comes from it. But, those who do, know </span><u style="font-family: inherit;">exactly</u><span style="font-family: inherit;"> what I am talking about. It isn't just being tired, it is incapacitating. Thursdays have become my busiest day since my oldest and I switched the cleaning day of our church from Saturday. I am SO thankful today for the strength that God provided to get through this day. There was absolutely no way that I could have done it on my own. </span></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">November 19, 2014 ~ Day 19</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">Today, where to start? Ugh ~ what a day! This was a repeat of yesterday where I wish I could have had a do-over on most of it. It was cold, I was hurting so badly, I had a lot of work to do, I lost my temper, and I could not sleep. There were other things that were disappointing and discouraging; but, that is not what this post is about. <b>There were still bright spots to be thankful for:</b> My oldest, offered to change her plans and help me tremendously, I was able to make a delicious meal that did not come from a box or take out, and successfully helped my youngest with her homework. These days, most of it is so confusing to me since expectations, punctuation, grammar, and math has changed so drastically ~ but that is a whole separate post!</span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> The homework is finished and I am SO thankful!</span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">November 18, 2014 ~ Day 18</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I start with being thankful that this is a blog post about being thankful and finding the joyful moments in every day and not a "what I wish happened differently today" journal. I am thankful for more energy today to do many things that needed to be done. On the whole, I accomplished quite a bit, but rarely as much as I would like. As I lay in my bed reviewing the day, the first thoughts are usually of those things that I didn't finish and now have to be added to tomorrow's list. But, then the lovely things that I have started to be sure to notice throughout the day begin to pop into my head: my husband still opening my car door after 23+ years of being together, my youngest successfully being in charge of putting dinner in the oven for the first time, the whole family being together at the table, another successful adventure in hair color for my oldest, a mostly empty sink before bed, a warm home, a full belly, a soft pillow, a comfy bed and any negative thoughts give way to a grateful heart and a pretty good night's sleep! There are so many things to be thankful for each day.</span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">November 17, 2014 ~ Day 17</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">Today, I am thankful that my hubby tries to take good care of me. I thought that I was going to escape going out in the rain today but </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ro273Erex9Q/VGtGqR8GvmI/AAAAAAAAAlA/F0HLEgNaAJQ/s1600/Day%2B17%2Bgift%2Band%2Ba%2Bblessing.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ro273Erex9Q/VGtGqR8GvmI/AAAAAAAAAlA/F0HLEgNaAJQ/s1600/Day%2B17%2Bgift%2Band%2Ba%2Bblessing.png" height="318" width="320" /></a></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">my brain fog won again and I forgot that I needed something for work. So, I had to go out ~ blah. He drove in his toasty warm car with heated seats and I was home soon enough. I am also grateful for my future sister-in-law (who created this beautiful blog) and the wonderful communities of Bloggers and Facebook for their support. Once upon a time, I had been creative and had fun, but, then there was pain. Pain takes up so much of my life. It tells me what I can do, what I should do, and then of course ~ <i>what I can't do</i>. But, as I continue to blog, host my </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/iwillfindjoy" style="color: #741b47;" target="_blank">Facebook Page</a><span style="color: #666666;">, and have the opportunity to talk with other people who share my dark gift of chronic illness and medications, I have started to feel those sparks of creativity again. While I would never want others to go through what I have been through and what I continue to go through, it is a gift and a blessing to me to be able to relate, laugh, cry, and be encouraged by others who truly know my daily quest to find joy and live each day the best way I can.</span></span><br />
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<b><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">November 16, 2014 ~ Day 16<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am thankful for giggles, belly
laughs, hugs, smiles, deep and silly conversations, and all of the other little
things that my little family shares. I love our Family Sunday Fun Days.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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November 15, 2014 ~ Day 15</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am thankful for a few things. I am so happy for another
quiet weekend (rare, but so needed!) I spent the day in comfy clothes, looking
over my recipes for Thanksgiving again, surfing Pinterest, and watching
Hallmark Christmas movies. I was able to roast the turkey wings and veggies to
make the broth that will be the gravy for the big day. I combined recipes from
an old Woman's Day magazine and a similar one I found on <a href="http://www.theyummylife.com/make_ahead_turkey_gravy" target="_blank">The Yummy Life</a>. Oh my yum! After it
chills overnight, I will thicken it and freeze it. Score! Cross that off my
list, WOOT! Apparently, my brain fog has been less because when I was going
over my recipes, I have almost<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><i>everything</i><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I need except for the turkey and a few
odds and ends. How refreshing, since I have had to run out to the store at the
last minute hoping to find things that have been gone for days<b>.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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November 14, 2014 ~ Day 14</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am thankful that I am moving a little easier, with the
warmth of the fire. My youngest and I had a fun dinner, laughing and giggling
the whole time. I enjoy those special one on one times. Raising teens is hard
enough, but needing to rest so much and taking medication that makes me loopy
tends to make me feel disconnected from those I love. I treasure these moments
with my girls.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>November 13, 2014 ~ Day 13</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am so thankful for safe driving in the snow/sleet. It was
our daughter's first adventure driving in winter weather. I was driving behind
her trying to make sure that nobody got too close. I was white-knuckled the
whole way home! But, she is a wonderful driver and has my hubby's instincts. I
am also SO grateful for our first fire in the wood stove. Oh my word, what a
difference that makes for my sore and achy muscles! It is a blessing that is
beyond belief! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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November 12, 2014 ~ Day 12</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am so thankful that I could go back to sleep after our
girls went to school. I was shocked when my hubby woke me up and I
realized that I slept for 3 hours. I am so thankful that I was able to get some
sleep that I <u>really</u> needed. Because of that extra rest, I was
able to be able to get up, stretch, and make the most of my day. With the
last of the warm days before the impending cold snap, I strapped on my big girl
boots and chose to push a little harder to complete the outside jobs that
needed to be done. Ever since I began trying to find ways to thrive with my
Fibromyalgia and chronic migraines, I try to plan everything for the week based
on the weather, especially in the fall/winter. As a "trade off" for
doing those kinds of physical activities, I have to take muscle relaxers and/or
pain meds and need to sleep more. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b><br />
November 11, 2014 ~ Day 11</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am thankful for free wood for our wood stove that will
keep us toasty warm in the cold days coming very soon. I am also so thankful
that our daughters are very responsible and that I am able to rely on them to
grocery shop for me. I even came home to find that all of the groceries were
put away. What a treat! <3<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b><br />
November 10, 2014 ~ Day 10</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am grateful for being out of bed and being able to move
around and stretch. One of the hardest things about my flares is that I hurt
too much to move, but the longer I lie there, my muscles just get tighter. I am
grateful for the muscle relaxers that help a little by keeping my muscles from
seizing up. Even though it hurts like the dickens, I am able to begin to work
through it.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-brHmH1Wg6ng/VGDlz7kZ1GI/AAAAAAAAAis/3ak6WD5gmQY/s1600/Voice%2Bof%2BTruth.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"></span></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b><br />
November 9, 2014 ~ Day 9</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-brHmH1Wg6ng/VGDlz7kZ1GI/AAAAAAAAAis/3ak6WD5gmQY/s1600/Voice%2Bof%2BTruth.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-brHmH1Wg6ng/VGDlz7kZ1GI/AAAAAAAAAis/3ak6WD5gmQY/s1600/Voice%2Bof%2BTruth.png" height="300" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-brHmH1Wg6ng/VGDlz7kZ1GI/AAAAAAAAAio/wPaE1wUcjkw/s1600/Voice%2Bof%2BTruth.png" imageanchor="1" style="float: right;"><b><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: xx-small; mso-no-proof: yes; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><v:shape alt="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-brHmH1Wg6ng/VGDlz7kZ1GI/AAAAAAAAAio/wPaE1wUcjkw/s1600/Voice%2Bof%2BTruth.png" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-brHmH1Wg6ng/VGDlz7kZ1GI/AAAAAAAAAio/wPaE1wUcjkw/s1600/Voice%2Bof%2BTruth.png" id="Picture_x0020_2" o:button="t" o:spid="_x0000_i1026" style="height: 227.25pt; mso-wrap-style: square; visibility: visible; width: 240pt;" type="#_x0000_t75">
<v:imagedata o:title="proxy?url=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-brHmH1Wg6ng%2FVGDlz7kZ1GI%2FAAAAAAAAAio%2FwPaE1wUcjkw%2Fs1600%2FVoice%252Bof%252BTruth" src="file:///C:\Users\kristine\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image002.jpg">
</v:imagedata></v:shape></span></b></a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am overwhelmingly grateful for the knowledge that just because I
may think or feel something about myself, it does not make it true. What God thinks
about me is way more important to me than what I think about myself. I started
beating myself up today for running too many errands in the rain the other day,
which I KNOW are both triggers for a flare. I started with horrendous cramps
and nausea 3 days ago (I think it may have started with something that I ate).
Then, I woke up yesterday with debilitating muscle pain and weakness that is
still here today. Ugh! So, for the last few days, I have been gentle with
myself. I listened to my hubby and rested. But, here we are 3 days later and I
still hurt so badly and I just want to sleep. We are going to church today and
I am running late. The laundry has piled up, dishes are in the sink, blah blah
blah... Here comes the condemnation. Here come the voices that remind me that I
do this all the time. BUT, then a clear voice breaks through. No, you don't do
this all the time. You are learning, but you stumbled. That voice is the Voice
of Truth. That voice is the voice I will choose to believe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b><br />
November 8, 2014 ~ Day 8</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am thankful for a quiet
weekend, warm and cozy jammies, and the ability to stay in bed all day. I am
relieved that I keep quick foods in the freezer to pull out in a pinch so I
don't have to worry about what's for dinner or having to go out to eat. Because
I have been having more good days than bad, it still surprises and frustrates
me when I feel this low on energy even while I am resting. I am looking forward
to the end of this flare and warmer temperatures in the next couple of days.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E0K0TQUUNXQ/VF5uZhuZ2zI/AAAAAAAAAiU/rTo8roA-O54/s1600/boy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E0K0TQUUNXQ/VF5uZhuZ2zI/AAAAAAAAAiU/rTo8roA-O54/s1600/boy.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>November
7, 2014 ~ Day 7</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today was one of those days that I had
to be gentle with myself. One of those days that all I wanted to do was sleep.
I am thankful again for an understanding hubby who insisted that I go lie down
even though I didn't want to!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b><br />
November 6, 2014 ~ Day 6</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am extremely thankful for
modern technology. It is chilly and rainy here and I ran too many errands
today. While walking through the last store, I started slowing down and nearly
stopped as my energy completely left me. We hadn't even eaten dinner yet. I was
so happy to walk into a warm home, reheat leftovers, rinse the dishes in hot
water, and then load them into the dishwasher. I crawled into a very cozy bed,
(still dressed!), pulled the warm covers up, rested my head on a fluffy pillow,
and called it a day. I am grateful for medicine that keeps the pain less than
unbearable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b><br />
November 5, 2014 ~ Day 5</b><b> </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am thankful for my husband’s
understanding and caring heart. I was having a rough day and I sincerely
appreciated a few small things that he did that added up to turning my day
around. It makes me feel loved and cared for to have him anticipate things that
might make me feel better; especially, a soft hug and an encouraging word. After
nearly 23 years together, we are becoming closer than we have been in years and
I am very thankful for that!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b><br />
November 4, 2014 ~ Day 4</b><b> </b><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I am so thankful that I am able to
mostly work from home for my husband. I am happy to try to take some weight off
of his plate, since he is our sole provider. I try to be a blessing to him,
since he is such a blessing to us. Although, I am sure I probably get on his
nerves sometimes, we seem to make it work. Having to be somewhere outside of
the home every day for many hours was very difficult for me, especially in the
winter.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>November 3, 2014 ~ Day 3</b><b> </b><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I am so thankful that my husband and I parent as a team. We both
want to provide tools for our kids while still teaching them that it is up to
them to use them properly. We don’t always get it right. But, we know that our
time with them is brief and our goal is to raise girls that can think and
provide for themselves as adults. Each day I am thankful for my girls and that
I am able to be a part of their lives. That has been an amazing gift every day
of their lives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>November 2, 2014 ~ Day 2</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I am thankful to be able to relax at home all day. As soon as I
opened my eyes, I declared it my Pajama Day. I could have gotten dressed but I
chose not to. I stayed in my jammies and sorted through my Thanksgiving
recipes. Seeing my Grandmother’s handwriting brought tears to my eyes because
this our first year without her here on earth. I am so thankful for every
wonderful memory that I have of her and her delicious recipes to pass down to
my children.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>November 1, 2014 ~ Day 1</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I am relishing in the aftermath of a great Halloween. I am so
grateful that my youngest wanted to be with a good friend & trick or treat,
my oldest would rather go to a Haunted House with her father than go out with
friends, and a husband who wants to take his oldest daughter & her
boyfriend to one of those places I don’t want to go!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><u1:p></u1:p>
<u1:p></u1:p></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Today, I am thankful for a restored relationship with my
sister-in-law and our families spending time together. It was so nice to see
cousins chatting and all of us laughing together enjoying a wonderful
breakfast. I am also thankful for spending time with my little family and then
watching the girls carve their pumpkins. Time didn’t allow for them to carve
them before Halloween. So many times before, I would have just scrapped the
whole idea since it was already over. But, it wasn’t too late and I am so glad
that they got to enjoy the activity!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><u1:p></u1:p>
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Ok, so I started the Fly Lady systems again in April... April?!
Holy Smokes, I thought I would have been farther along than this by now!
Sighhh. Oh well, I digress. Spring came and it was time to plant my garden.
Summer came and so did the off and on flares. Yeah, probably from gardening.
Don’t judge me! The kids went back to school and my routines completely
changed. I found myself slipping back into old habits.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit;"> <span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">If I don't keep up on paper clutter, it takes over very quickly! If I don't keep up with house cleaning and do a little at
a time, I will inevitably do too much at once and spend too much time &
energy "catching up". Let's call that what it <b>really</b> is ~ "catching up" is the same thing as a
self-induced flare that was not worth the five minutes my house was “clean”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">SO... back to the routines that started pulling everything
together and helped keep me on track.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>Day 1 - Monday</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>How do I feel?</b><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I feel awful. I broke 3 fillings 2 weeks
ago and have a nasty headache. It isn't a full migraine. I am not nauseous and
I can move around but I think a spike through my head might be an improvement.
I can't eat anything with texture so I am always hungry. My stomach and meds
are not mixing well. Since I didn't sleep well, my body just plain hurts all
over.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>What's on the agenda today:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></b>Up at 5am for the kids.<b> </b>I
have to work. I work from home for my husband who is a Realtor. I have a ton of
stuff to do but I am having trouble concentrating. This is not a good
mix. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b style="color: #666666;">FLY:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></b><span style="color: #666666;">I emptied my sink, and shined it as per
the</span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="color: #666666;"> </span><a href="http://www.flylady.net/" style="font-weight: bold;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">FlyLady's</span></a><span style="color: #666666;"><span class="apple-converted-space" style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flylady.net%2Fd%2Fgetting-started%2Fflying-lessons%2Fshine-sink%2F&h=8AQESiJg4" style="font-weight: bold;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #351c75;">instructions</span></a><span style="color: #666666;">. My oldest daughter's chore is to empty
the dishwasher so I had to wait for her to get home to finish. </span><span style="color: #666666;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I got hooked on making my bed after I started in April. I
like the way it looks and it is so comfortable to get into at night when it has
been made. Before, it didn't seem like a big deal since I would lie down during the day and mess it up anyway. But, sometimes. I go to bed after my husband. When the bed was unmade, it was very difficult for me to get into with the
blankets all disheveled and him lying on them. I cannot sleep unless I am
covered completely and I will keep waking up and hurt very badly if I get
cold during the night. This problem was solved just by making my bed. Who knew
it could be so easy?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b style="color: #666666;">FLY Focus: </b><span style="color: #666666;">The</span><span class="apple-converted-space" style="color: #666666;"> </span><a href="http://www.flylady.net/d/daily-focus/daily-focus-monday/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Home Blessing</span></b></a><span style="color: #666666;">. The longest and sometimes most difficult thing for me. This is
when you spend 10 minutes doing a bunch of different things and stop. This
includes mopping, it is called a quick mop. Sheesh, I'll say! Since I move a
little slower, I don't get as much done as I would like every time. BUT, it is
still more than what I was doing before AND I spend less time and have less pain after. My kitchen floor is not spotless but, guess what? It is a heck
of a lot better than it was!</span><span style="color: #666666;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>Day 2 - Tuesday</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>How do I feel:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></b>Growl, hiss and sigh. Teeth are hurting
so badly. Head is pounding. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>What's on the agenda today:</b><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>Too much. I just want to sleep.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>FLY:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></b>Sink has a few dishes in it. Blehh.
It didn't take long to clean it up and then the sink was nice and shiny. Today, we
were supposed to get dressed as if we were going out. Yeah, this is one that I
am not always able to do. I am hoping that I will be able to go back to sleep. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b style="color: #666666;">FLY Focus:</b><span class="apple-converted-space" style="color: #666666;"> </span><a href="http://www.flylady.net/d/daily-focus/daily-focus-tuesday/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;"><b>Plan and Play</b></span></a><span style="color: #666666;"> I can do that while I rest on the couch. What's for
dinner, grocery list, look up recipes on Pinterest… Oh SNAP! Where did the time
go? Ha! Pinterest problems. I didn't have much time to play, but did get my
lists finished and I was able to get a nap, so I will count that!</span><span style="color: #666666;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>Day 3 - Wednesday</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>How do I feel? Grrr</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>What's on the agenda today:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></b>Work, errands, getting ready for my
dental appointment to have 2 teeth repaired. I know that it will be rough.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b style="color: #666666;">FLY:</b><span style="color: #666666;"> Sink has a few dishes in it but again,
not too many and it didn't take long to do them. I started</span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="color: #666666;"> my </span><a href="http://www.flylady.net/d/control-journals/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Control Journal</span></b></a></span><span style="color: #741b47;">.</span><span style="color: #666666;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>FLY Focus:</b> Anti-procrastination Day! One of
my favorites. I kept doing this every Wednesday also. I started with a list of things a mile long and started checking
them off one week at a time. It is amazing how freeing it is not to wince and think DANG! I keep forgetting to do that! I just put it on my list for next week.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>Day 4 - Thursday</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>How do I feel: OUCH! </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>What's on the agenda today:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></b>Dental appointment and recovery<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>FLY:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></b>Getting dressed wasn't a problem since
my appointment was at 8:30 in the morning. Sink was empty before I left. Dinner
was in the crock pot for my family. Win!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>FLY Focus:</b> Errand day. I actually did go to the
grocery store today right after my appointment. My face felt like it was
melting and I practically ran through the aisles; but, I grabbed soup, drinks,
and stuff that would be good for me to eat as well as my family. I seem to
always forget to care for myself! The rest of the Fly Focus... I didn't even
look.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>Day 5 - Friday</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>How do I feel: ...</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>What's on the agenda today?<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></b>As little as possible,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>FLY:<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span></b>We are listening to our inner voices. I
am learning to be more kind to myself the way I would be with others. Today, I
will do what I can, when and IF I can. I am okay with that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>FLY Focus:</b> De-clutter purse and car. Nah, I am
going to need to rest today.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="color: #666666; font-size: x-large;">So, one week in. How did it go?</b><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Depends on who you ask. If you ask someone with a Type A
personality who follows every single instruction, it did not go well. If you
ask me, I will say that I did the best I could. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">Before I tried </span><a href="http://www.flylady.net/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Fly Lady</span></b></a><span style="color: #666666;">, if I couldn't do it all, I wouldn't bother
to do any of it. Now, I am constantly reminding myself that if I just do a
little today then I won't have as much to do tomorrow. I won't overdo it trying
to catch up. I am changing habits and forming routines that are weird and
different for me. I feel awful some days and can't do them. That's okay. I just
get up the next day and try again. I am starting to really re-think how I see
myself and my inner voices. I am treating myself the way I treat others. Not
better or worse, but the </span><u style="color: #666666;">same</u><span style="color: #666666;">. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-za6RaLOX_IE/U9qNZE19BoI/AAAAAAAAANc/6dGqRt-8ksI/s1600/sink.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-za6RaLOX_IE/U9qNZE19BoI/AAAAAAAAANc/6dGqRt-8ksI/s1600/sink.jpg" height="157" width="200" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">I may be the only who appreciates it but I do really like my </span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">shiny sink!</span></span></div>
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Finding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8870603414864882847.post-46417158873815073182014-10-07T16:17:00.002-04:002014-11-17T21:00:39.690-05:00Sometimes, I Wish I Was a Bear!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Iso3-YCe50A/VDRJ_lfnBJI/AAAAAAAAAZY/gj8_WAEYmUI/s1600/tin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Iso3-YCe50A/VDRJ_lfnBJI/AAAAAAAAAZY/gj8_WAEYmUI/s1600/tin.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">It is rainy outside. It's gray and dark. Blech... My mood is feeling as gray as the clouds. It is getting downright cold at night. Fall is here... sigh. I love the colors of Fall. I enjoy pumpkin EVERYTHING and even enjoy wearing sweaters. What I don't enjoy is knowing that my body's arch enemy, Winter, is right around the corner.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">And with winter, come the flares, the brain fog, and the chill inside that doesn't want to go away no matter how much cocoa or coffee I drink. I think that bears and other animals that hibernate have the right idea.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">How nice would it be to fill up on a ton of delicious food, go into a quiet cave, get cozy, and sleep until Spring. Sometimes, I wish I was a bear! </span></div>
Finding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8870603414864882847.post-19267053942538129632014-09-12T22:27:00.002-04:002014-11-17T21:01:34.587-05:00Invisible Illness Awareness Week ~ Do You Think People Notice?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">With so
many National days on the calendar now ranging from National Waffle Day to
Fibromyalgia Awareness Day, is anyone even paying attention?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Does
anyone even know? What's the point of trying to bring awareness one day of the
year if no one wants to hear about it the other 364 days of the year? Does it even
actually bring understanding to those who haven't been touched by the situation
or disease? It seems I am not the only one who wonders about that.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">One of my
young adult friends was struggling with the idea of the need
for Suicide Awareness Day. The topic hits really close to home for her and she posted about it on her Facebook page. "<span style="background: white;">My problem with the day is that wearing yellow and
writing love on your wrists (or whatever the plan is this year) does about
as much to prevent suicide as say dumping a bucket of ice over your head cures
ALS." She went on to say that the reason she </span>was so bothered by
it was that she felt that most of the people who were involved were only
involved that one day and <i>ignored it the rest of the year</i>. </span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oulY1v-HQ54/VBOJUQlNsJI/AAAAAAAAATg/W_Z5_BVY1_8/s1600/Awareness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-oulY1v-HQ54/VBOJUQlNsJI/AAAAAAAAATg/W_Z5_BVY1_8/s1600/Awareness.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I have
been thinking about this since the ALS challenge had gone viral and
the youth in my area were taking the challenge in a different direction. It
became a name calling, one upping, do it or else kind of thing. There seemed to
be no awareness of why they were doing it, even stating on video that they were
doing the "ASL" challenge or "the ice thingy challenge" with no mention
of the disease. I felt frustrated. If there was that much attention being focused on ALS and it still wasn't bringing awareness, what would?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">There are many invisible illnesses out there that people have heard of but don't know how they affect people or why. The stigma and judgment cause most of us to keep quiet whenever we can. We don't want to talk about it because of what people might think. Or worse, we already know what they think and don't want to hear it.</span></span><br />
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By keeping quiet and not speaking up, are we doing more harm than good the rest of the year? People may have heard about the illness we have and look at us as an example. Maybe, their idea of the illness is altered because they see us being strong. It makes me wonder, could we be causing others to judge someone else more harshly because we are better at faking well?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">Since I started my </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/iwillfindjoy" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Facebook Page</span></a><span style="color: #666666;"> and this blog, those closest to me have had the opportunity to finally see a glimpse into my private hell. At first, some were taken aback and seemed a little concerned that I was concentrating too much on my pain. Maybe, it's because it isn't always pleasant and comfortable to know the truth. I have been living with this for over 10 years.<i> </i>I hurt every day, not just once a year on Awareness Day or once a week on Awareness Week. <b><i>My entire life changed and nearly everything I do affects me</i></b><i>. Yeah, I might think about it often! </i>I just had been choosing to keep that part quiet and not share it. But, then I realized that there were so many others who shared my illness, my pain, my trials and my desire to strive for a great life while facing the possibility that this could be the best I ever feel again. </span><span style="color: #666666;">I am not really sure whether they read my posts any more and that's okay. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666;">I carried a lot of guilt and shame over the last many years . Once I started truly accepting my illnesses, I was free to talk about them and stop trying to make excuses. At the risk of eye-rolling, judgment, or friends that just don't want to hear it
anymore, I will continue to post on my personal Facebook page, m</span><span style="color: #666666;">y </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/iwillfindjoy" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">support
page</span></a><span style="color: #666666;">, blog, and talk about it regularly and not just on the designated days. It keeps people aware. After all, I have really good days where the pain is low but it is still there <u>every</u> day.</span></span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HqNemSkuCQc/VBOp7b9KMSI/AAAAAAAAATw/DnOBLoSHtjk/s1600/Awareness2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HqNemSkuCQc/VBOp7b9KMSI/AAAAAAAAATw/DnOBLoSHtjk/s1600/Awareness2.jpg" height="318" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Of course, this isn't the ONLY
thing I talk about. I am much more than just my illness! But, if it comes up in
conversation; if I cancel plans; or if I am having a really rough day, I am through saying, "I'm fine, just a little tired." I have found that there are people willing to listen and try
to understand if we have the courage and take the time to explain. I can't be frustrated because people don't understand if I am not being honest with them in the first place. <u>What do you think</u>?</span></div>
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Finding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8870603414864882847.post-56575809455630153702014-08-30T13:22:00.000-04:002014-11-17T17:38:27.718-05:00Sometimes you forget how far you have actually come<div style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;">
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YRfy06Fdre8/VAIHkK1834I/AAAAAAAAAPw/oMRSqh8QTHU/s1600/Progress%2Bcan't%2Balways%2Bbe%2Bmeasured.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-YRfy06Fdre8/VAIHkK1834I/AAAAAAAAAPw/oMRSqh8QTHU/s1600/Progress%2Bcan't%2Balways%2Bbe%2Bmeasured.jpg" height="318" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I clean my church each week w/my daughter (usually on Saturdays). We went up last night to get it done early in order to take today off & enjoy the day. It is pretty far from my house (about 35 min one way). We got there & I realized that I had forgotten my key. Not only had we driven all that way for nothing but now we had to come back. Sighhh...</span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I keep talking about the <a href="http://www.flylady.net/" target="_blank"><b>FLY</b></a> system & how important <a href="http://iwillfindjoy.blogspot.com/2014_04_01_archive.html" target="_blank"><b>routines</b></a> can be to help us become more organized. Keeping track of my keys has been a huge problem for me. I used to lose them all the time. I started making sure that they were always in the front pocket of my purse. For almost a month, I always had my keys in the pocket. When I came home earlier yesterday, I set them on the table and my purse on the floor. My daughter drove and I didn't "need" my keys to get there so I didn't even think about checking. I was devastated. How could I have forgotten? I instantly thought ughh it's the same old thing & I started to beat myself up.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">But, then I realized that was not true. I had gone so many days without forgetting. I had been very careful. YES, it stunk. YES, I messed up. Guess what? I will never be perfect. I will make mistakes. But, now I know that I will have to add another layer to putting them in the pocket. Each time I leave, I will have to check the pocket & make sure that they are in there whether I am driving or not. In 4 weeks, I forgot them once. My husband pointed out that one time in four weeks is 75% of the time. A 75% is a passing grade NOT a fail. But, I want to keep working towards that 95-100%. I can't do that if I just keep thinking about how "I did it again!" Instead, I need to choose to treat myself the same way I would treat anyone else. "It's okay" and let it go.</span></div>
Finding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8870603414864882847.post-76627553252658603702014-08-27T10:34:00.001-04:002014-11-17T21:09:48.002-05:00Please Stand By.... Brain Fog Ramblings In Progress<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ns6EmcBafSA/U_3aj02MUaI/AAAAAAAAAPg/l2_GJbqj0M0/s1600/blog%2Bwords.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ns6EmcBafSA/U_3aj02MUaI/AAAAAAAAAPg/l2_GJbqj0M0/s1600/blog%2Bwords.jpg" height="280" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">When this little project started, I was worried I would have too many posts! Guess I hadn't counted on real life, bad days, and general brain fog!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">I started a post two weeks ago and it morphed into 2 different ones that <i>still</i> aren't ready!</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">My kids started school today. I have a senior and an 8th grader. </span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><i>Where my time goes, I do not know!</i></span><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"> Seems like summer just started and it is over. I have been really focused on getting them ready to go back to school and planning for their packed lunches. Groan... one of my least favorite tasks.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">They never really knew what they wanted for lunch, but whatever I suggested was NOT it! Are you looking for ideas on packing school lunches? Check out our </span><a href="http://www.pinterest.com/iwillfindjoy/school-lunch-ideas/" target="_blank"><b><span style="color: #a64d79;">Pinterest Page</span></b></a><span style="color: #666666;">. Now, if you have ever gone on Pinterest, you can probably guess </span><i style="color: #666666;">exactly</i><span style="color: #666666;"> where my time went!</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">My girls are actually kind of excited when I rattle off some of these new ideas. <u>Don't drive yourself nuts cutting things into a bunch of shapes!</u> I was looking for some different ideas besides ham or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I also like that some of these ideas and recipes are make ahead & freeze. I am always on the look out for things I can plan and have ready ahead of time.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">Flares and migraines do not come with advanced notice or make reservations to visit. Sometimes, they just show up without warning. If I am prepared a little ahead of time, it lessens the time and effort I have to put into doing things I <i>have</i> to do and attend to my health. That's a win!</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-size: large;">When I can find a win (no matter how small) it puts a little joy in my heart. That joy carries over to my family and those around me, which causes another win for me when I can spread joy to others!</span></span><br />
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<br />Finding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8870603414864882847.post-39652260022541288912014-07-30T19:10:00.001-04:002014-11-17T21:03:29.086-05:00Unexpected Lessons From My Teens ~ What Have I Really Been Modeling While Being Strong Through Chronic Pain?<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dKo430FhfVI/U9l8_A0XLrI/AAAAAAAAANI/mR5ejbJo58I/s1600/Florida+rainbow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dKo430FhfVI/U9l8_A0XLrI/AAAAAAAAANI/mR5ejbJo58I/s1600/Florida+rainbow.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo by K Noland of Ft. Myers FL</td></tr>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I feel like I have limped my way through the last 11 years. I have
allowed my health and feelings to dictate my days. I have quietly pushed too
hard and then suffered in relative silence. I was trying to be so strong. I had
this life altering experience with my health and medications with awful side
effects while I was helping to raise 2 little girls. I didn't have anyone to talk
to. So, I started talking to myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">At first, I was encouraging and then, when I didn't heal as I
should have, I got frustrated with myself. A few more surgeries, more meds, more
pain, and less healing lead to feeling pretty bad about myself as a woman and
as a mother. Most of the time, I just hurt and wanted to be left alone. You
can't really hide from those you are caring for. Believe me, when they are
hungry, they come looking for you!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I had this idea that I had to do <b>everything</b>...AND do it <b><i>perfectly</i></b>.
I had this picture in my mind of how my mother was and all of the things I
wanted to do the same or differently. I kept thinking that I would have plenty
of time to care for myself after the kids left home. So, I always put myself last or not at all. I couldn't wrap my mind around the knowledge that the
picture that I had in my head and the reality of actually achieving it were way
off. The very idea of perfection is ludicrous to begin with but add surgeries
and chronic pain and now it is just plain insane!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I have always been a fierce advocate for my children; <b>especially,</b> when
they speak negatively about themselves. I encourage them to give things their
all so they will have no regrets. I hear myself talking to my girls,
loving them and trying to guide them along through the years to be strong,
confident, and capable young women. I think about their futures and wonder
about them being wives and mothers raising their kids. I stopped dead in my
tracks when my oldest turned to me one night while she was clearing the dinner dishes and said, "I am not going to spoil my
kids the way you spoil me". I nearly choked. I happened to find this
hilarious and laughed hysterically; considering that she is the one who is
always asking someone to do something for her (insert eye roll here!). But, it
really got me thinking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I started to wonder, what was I teaching my kids about being a
woman and a mother? Uh oh... I didn't want my kids thinking that they had to do
everything perfectly. I didn't want them to work as hard as I did. Suddenly, it
hit me that my own behavior, and trying to be so strong, might have actually modeled
the exact opposite of what I have been trying to instill in them. Here comes
the “face palm” moment:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">My oldest has P.O.T.S. (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome
- which is an autonomic syndrome that affects BP and heart rate). We don't know
if this will get worse with age. I don't know what kind of trials she will face
in her life. I am constantly in her ear telling her to take care of herself.
Um, yeah... I haven't been any kind of role model for that. This is about the
time that I hung my head and started doing some heavy thinking.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">My husband and I have always talked to our kids about going to
college. Based on the careers they have talked about, college is the only way to make those dreams come true. My husband would always tell them, “Do
what you love”. My oldest has wanted to be a marine biologist and train
dolphins since she was 5 years old. She kept thinking that she had plenty
of time, until she took the SATs a few months ago. Now, with graduation looming in less than a year, she is feeling a bit rushed to make important choices quickly. I find
myself reassuring her and telling her to trust her own judgment about what she wants for her life. I want her to know that it's ok if she doesn't have it all figured out yet; she just needs to start somewhere. I realized that<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><b>DANG,</b><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>I give great advice!! But, why aren't
I taking this advice?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">All along, I have been thinking that I have so much time. Why?
None of us know how long we have here. What makes me so different? I would
never speak to my kids the way I have spoken to myself. I would never place the
expectations on<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><b><i>anyone</i></b><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>else that I put on myself. Let alone, someone that I know is in pain and discomfort every day. Every fiber
of my being believes in my children and that God will see them through this
confusing time of growing up. I have no doubt whatsoever that God has been with
me through my time of struggle. So, why should I still be so hard on myself?</span><br />
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This life of mine never had a pause button. My life kept going even though I stopped living as if I mattered. I need to
learn to train my inner voice to speak to me as though I am one of my own kids and keep encouraging me to find ways to live fully ~ not just drift from day to day with sporadic bursts of energy and flaring. Maybe
I need to mother myself a little! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Finding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8870603414864882847.post-13872705728092503352014-07-22T10:36:00.000-04:002014-11-17T20:46:53.578-05:00Open Letter to Pain by Beni E. Splater <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sCTqFfPNAUw/U8VdCr9yEcI/AAAAAAAAAFg/YZYSNtJXUaI/s1600/Beni.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sCTqFfPNAUw/U8VdCr9yEcI/AAAAAAAAAFg/YZYSNtJXUaI/s1600/Beni.jpg" height="320" width="268" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><b>AN
OPEN LETTER TO PAIN</b><o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large; line-height: 13.45pt; white-space: pre-wrap;">Dear Pain, </span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large; line-height: 13.45pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 13.45pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 7.5pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You
received no invitation but yet here you are. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You
are nothing but like a criminal stealing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You
stole my educational experience, my work experiences, my career, my family, my
social circle, my friends, my health, now I’m financially ruined and destroyed,
my vision of WHO I AM. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You
invaded my body like two world countries at war with one another. You did so
with no respect for human life. You have no mercy. But you forgot, when things
invade, people will react, we will NOT let you push us down and then walk all
over us-tearing us apart. Limb by limb.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I
will continue to fight YOU-pulling all of the strength that I have built up
inside of me-an endless amount of strength just for times like these. You may
be laughing now when I am crying because of pain but, in the end, I will be the
one standing over you with a great big smile.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I
will continue to rise. I will continue to set and reach my goals, with more
will power, now, than ever before. I will continue to reinvent myself-day after
day, while you are being worn down. You must remember pain, you will never be
able to touch one part of me-MY SOUL. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">You
must remember, God created me with His own Hands according to His own Image.
You can never take that away from me because my faith will beat anything that
attempts to shatter it!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">E. Splater</span><span style="color: #333333;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #333333;">Copyright,
All Rights Reserved, Beni E. Splater, 2014, "AN OPEN LETTER TO PAIN".
No part of this letter may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or
transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of
Brian A.k.A. Beni E. Splater.Facebook Page: </span><b><a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-biggest-fight-of-our-lives-chronic-condition-and-chronic-pain/218297534885343" target="_blank"><span style="color: #674ea7;">The biggest fight of our lives chronic condition and chronic pain </span></a><span style="color: #a64d79;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
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Finding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8870603414864882847.post-68328099438921969162014-06-09T18:33:00.000-04:002014-11-17T20:24:04.674-05:00Migraines ~ Krys from A Healthy State of Mind<div dir="ltr">
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ayWIGhPrOj0/U5ZFR9OPnoI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/l_6bdpvLh2U/s1600/cute+pic.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ayWIGhPrOj0/U5ZFR9OPnoI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/l_6bdpvLh2U/s1600/cute+pic.png" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: justify;">Hello there, my name is Krys & I have been a blogger over at a little place called</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #666666;"> </span><a href="http://sweetestmemoirs.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">A Healthy State of Mind</span></a></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: justify;"> for two </span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: justify;">years now. I was really excited when Kristine asked me to be a guest blogger here on her brand new blog,</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: justify;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><i><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; text-align: justify;">Finding Joy in the Midst of Chronic Pain</span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; text-align: justify;">.</span></i></span><span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: justify;"> I feel very honored to take part in her new journey into the blogger world.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">To be honest, I felt slightly hesitant at first to write about my own experiences with chronic pain. It wasn't because I didn't want to talk about them, nor was it fear of sharing my thoughts openly... It was because I feel that I am one of the <i>lucky</i> ones. By lucky, I mean that I am able to get out of bed every morning. I am able to go grocery shopping, clean the house, plant in my garden. I am able to <b>do</b> things & because of that I find myself often undervaluing the pain I do have. There are so many people out there worse off than me & more often than not I feel guilty for complaining. A little advice... <b>Don't. </b>Don't ever feel guilty for hurting. Don't ever think that just because someone hurts more or even differently than you, that your experiences are insignificant. It matters & you matter. Your pain, emotions, feelings, life, is just as important. Never forget that!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">Moving on & back to a little bit more about myself. I am currently diagnosed with</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;"> </span><span style="color: #a64d79;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome" tabindex="-1" target="_parent" title="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Polycystic Ovary Syndrome</span> <span style="color: #a64d79;">(PCOS)</span></a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_disorder" tabindex="-1" target="_parent" title="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_disorder"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Anxiety Disorder</span></a></span><span style="color: #666666;">, & Migraines with </span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Migraine_aura" style="color: #666666;" tabindex="-1" target="_parent" title="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Migraine_aura"><span id="goog_1866397376"></span>aura<span id="goog_1866397377"></span></a><span style="color: #666666;">. It certainly is a nice little cocktail of some invisible illnesses & some not so invisible side effects. All of which are often misunderstood by those who have never experienced them. </span><i style="color: #666666;">Everyone has bad days right?</i><span style="color: #666666;"> Right. But not everyone has them nearly everyday. Anyway, today I am going to talk about Migraines</span></span>.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">Migraines with aura are actually fairly new for me. I've always had headaches growing up, but last year on a road trip up to the Appalachian trail I was thrown into a full fledged migraine complete with </span><a href="http://www.webmd.com/migraines-headaches/what-is-a-migraine-with-aura" tabindex="-1" target="_parent" title="http://www.webmd.com/migraines-headaches/what-is-a-migraine-with-aura"><span style="color: #a64d79;">aura</span></a><span style="color: #666666;">. Migraines with auras are actually rare & only account for 20% of all migraines. Lucky me, right? When I first experienced the aura my first emotion was fear. I was nearly blinded by a bright wavy line that started off small & eventually took over my entire line of vision. I could not see & I had no depth perception what so ever. I cried & after it passed, I got home & I researched it. An aura actually comes before the migraine & can last up to twenty minutes. Once the aura passes the pain from the migraine begins. </span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Since my road trip last year, I tend to experience two to three migraines a month. Most of the time with aura. I still wonder why they started when they did, but even my doctor couldn't explain it. Sometimes I think the change in the weather brings them, other times bright lights from a computer screen. But either way, they happen & they hurt. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My Doctor prescribed me a migraine medication called Sumatriptan to take with my double strength Naproxen to treat my Migraines. He made it seem like if you take this <i>magic </i>white pill when your first experience an aura, the migraine will be stopped before it even starts. You'll be all better! Well, the first time I took it, it made me really sick. I was nauseated & warm inside my own skin. I was so dizzy that I had to lay down & eventually fall asleep because all of that on top of the migraine was just too much. When I saw my doctor again I told him that I would not be taking the Sumatriptan again. I told him how sick it made me & after staring at me blankly, he made me feel as if I took the medication wrong. Well, okay then!</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I recently tried the medication again, I even took it with food to be on the safe side. Well, apparently I did not take it wrong the first time because it made me even sicker this second time. The muscles in the back of my neck & shoulders tightened & would not release. And, the migraine came anyway. So again, I laid in bed, aching, stiff, nauseous, & in pain. I will not take the medication again... I saw no point in making myself sicker. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><span style="text-align: justify;">That's the funny thing with medications, they affect everyone differently just like illnesses. You never know who is fighting </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; text-align: justify;">a battle with their own body or even with the <i>miracle </i></span><span style="color: #666666;"><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">medications that the doctors prescribe</span>.</span></span></div>
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Finding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8870603414864882847.post-81000755614050449992014-06-05T08:46:00.001-04:002014-11-17T21:04:58.737-05:00Did you really just say that?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Lately, I have been surprised at how freely strangers are sharing their opinions of me (or my loved ones) and asking direct questions that seem so personal. I was shopping the other day and had an older cashier. She was at least 20 years older than me </span><span style="font-size: large;">(I am 40 something). As she started packing the groceries, I asked her not to pack them so full and added that I had a hard time lifting them if they were too heavy. She stopped what she was doing, looked at me, and said, "Huh, I can lift more than that!" My first response was, "Well, good for you!" and I smiled. As she finished scanning my items and I was paying, she kept looking at me. I said thank you and started to leave. As she began ringing up the man in line behind me, I heard her comment, "Well, that was weird." and the man agreed. I looked back and they were both staring at me. At this same store earlier in the month, I had another cashier get annoyed at my request to not pack the bags too full. She kept watching me as I struggled to load the groceries into my cart and was visibly limping. She asked, "What's </span><span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>wrong</b></i></span><span style="font-size: large;"> (emphasis was placed on that word) with you?" Unfortunately, in a small town, my choices are few and it happens in other stores as well. What, am I supposed to wear a sign or something? What happened to just general compassion?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My sister broke her leg this past winter and I took her to one of her doctor appointments. She was using a walker and we were trying to find a ramp outside so she could easily get inside. A man, who was leaving, went out of his way to let me know that the handicapped parking was at the other end and I should have parked there. The parking lot was almost full and I parked as close as I could. Since I don't have a handicapped tag, I am not permitted to park in that zone, but he kept persisting. Why? I have no idea. Then, inside, another patient kept hounding my sister with many questions about how she broke her leg, was it at work, how long ago and many other questions. It is nice to show concern, but this woman went on like she was going to write a book. It was awkward and weird.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My teenage daughter has postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS). It is a malfunction of the autonomic nervous system (the system that automatically controls heart rate and blood pressure). Sometimes her heart rate and BP just rise or drop suddenly and she gets very dizzy or nauseous. She is in high school so, naturally, I made sure that it is on her records & have spoken with the school nurse about it. The school nurse doesn't seem too concerned though. Earlier this year, she had a sudden and severe rise in her heart rate and BP. My daughter called me and told me that she didn't feel well. I told her to go right to the nurse and have her call me. The nurse told me she was fine. How did she know this? Because, <b>she</b> <b>looked</b> <b>fine</b>. I asked her to take her BP. She didn't think it was necessary. Why? Because, <b>she</b> <b>looked fine. </b>As a mom, I went full-on Bear Mode. I told her to do it anyway. The nurse took her BP and nearly had a fit. "Oh, I am sorry" she says. "Yes, it is very high. You should take her to the ER" she says. I am already in my car, because I knew it was a problem. My daughter had another episode the other day. I told her to go to the nurse and I would call and let them know that I was coming to get her. The nurse was with other adults and just dismissed her. My daughter explained that she didn't feel well and that I was coming to get her. One of the other adults was quick to say, <b>"You don't look sick"</b>. The school insisted that I get a doctor's note excusing her from school. Of course, her doctor wrote a note and was very concerned by their lack of understanding and knowledge on the subject. I brought the note and some literature on her syndrome to the nurse and she acted like it was the first time she had ever heard that my daughter had this. Sighhh. She had forgotten the entire episode just a few months ago. I went through everything again, she checked her records & bingo! Sure enough, it was on there! But, her attitude still seemed to be <b>"she doesn't look sick"</b>. I know that she has a lot of students to care for and many might just be trying to go home but it shocked and really disappointed me that she wouldn't have remembered something like that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">It really blows my mind that so many people seem to lack compassion or aren't even willing to try to understand others before they jump to conclusions. Most likely, everyone we know is either suffering from some ailment themselves or know someone who is. I wonder if the people who are easily annoyed, amused, or confused about why some people act sick but don't look sick would feel if they (or their loved ones) were on the receiving end of their own comments, inquiries, stares, or dismissal. We shouldn't need to wear signs that spell out what's wrong with us. If only people were a little more open to the fact that invisible illnesses are <i><b>invisible</b></i> and anyone can be sick without looking sick, it sure would be nice!</span><br />
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<br />Finding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8870603414864882847.post-84546346925470166732014-04-12T17:33:00.003-04:002014-11-17T21:06:35.785-05:00My Misadventures Of Cleaning With Fibromyalgia<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">Confession time… I do
not have a super clean house. Sometimes, I will clean a room and then need to
rest for days. The house gets messy. I will straighten up and then need to
rest. While I rest the house gets messy again. It is a disappointing roller
coaster ride that does not end with any progress made disappearing while I
recover. Sound familiar? My husband has said that I put out fires. I see
something that needs to be cleaned & clean it really well which then throws
the rest of the house & me out of balance. The Fly Lady also uses that
analogy with “hot spots” (or places we pile mail, magazines, or whatever). I
have a hard time stopping once I finally have the energy because everything is
“on fire” & I just want my house to be clean! I will <b><i><u>always</u></i></b> pay dearly
for this wrong thinking. I love a clean house but it never stays clean & that frustrates me!</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">There are certain
things about cleaning that we know to be true, for instance: you should dust
before you vacuum so that the dust that settles on the ground can be vacuumed
up. Sometimes, just dusting wears me out & I don’t have the energy to
vacuum when I am done. Someone who does not suffer with chronic pain will think
this is ridiculous, but we know how that goes. The Fly Lady turns what we know
& how we think about cleaning upside down. Her theory is that ANY cleaning
is a blessing to our home, to ourselves,
and our loved ones ~ EVEN if it is done “incorrectly”. She starts with routines
and adds a little to them each day. She puts rooms into “zones” and has a plan
to tackle chores each day so that each “zone” gets thoroughly cleaned in a
week. With consistent habits and routines, her plan is to <b><i>slowly</i></b> & <b><i>progressively</i></b>
achieve a clean, organized home, and life</span>.
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">My husband has been
telling me about the importance of routines for years but I never found a way
or just dug in and kept good routines in place on my own. My way has <b>obviously</b> not worked. I tried the Fly
Lady plan many years ago but stopped. Her ideas and plans are good and I am
going back. Due to health or time constraints, sometimes I am unable to keep
her schedule each day. But, in a month, I will be closer to a really clean
house than I am now without the roller coaster disappointment or the bedridden
flare! WHO IS WITH ME?!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">To join in our
Adventure of Getting Our Homes and Ourselves in Order ~ Start here: <o:p></o:p></span><a href="http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/31-beginner-babysteps/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Flylady beginner-babysteps</span></a><span style="color: #666666;"> The Fly Lady starts you
out slow with Beginner Baby Steps – don’t try to work too far ahead! Her philosophy is that you are never behind and that routines will help to keep your home neat and tidy without overwhelming and exhausting you.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">You can sign up for her
daily emails to remind you of what you should be doing throughout the day
here: </span><a href="http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/flying-lessons/joining-flylady/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #a64d79;">Flylady getting started </span></a><span style="color: #666666;">(they are helpful but
they add up very quickly if you do not check email regularly!).</span></span><span style="color: #666666;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><span style="color: #666666;">Check the Facebook page daily
for reminders here: </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/iwillfindjoy" target="_blank"><span style="color: #674ea7;">Finding Joy in the Midst of Chronic Pain</span></a><span style="color: #674ea7;">.</span><span style="color: #666666;"> Let’s encourage each other & do this together!</span></span><o:p></o:p></div>
Finding Joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02560498734866470967noreply@blogger.com0